decisions, decisions...

Geez, so much for sleeping again!  I think I have a little too much on my mind right now. I told you that I’ve been looking up clinical trials as I’m not on anything right now to suppress my virus. I’ve been on all the drugs that are currently available and they have produced resistance. That nasty little virus always has a way of finding a way to mutate.  Well, I thought there were some injectable drug trials that I might qualify for, but after researching and calling, that’s not the case.  The “new” drugs in the pipeline are in the category of drugs that I will never be able to take again, as I have already become permanently resistant to the whole class of drug.

So, I started looking at the clinical trials for people who are experiencing total antiretroviral failure and I found only two. One doesn’t look too bad. Some HIV positive people are what are called “long term non-progressors”.  They have a marker in their white blood cells known as HLA-B-*57 that appears to control the progress of the disease.  Others also have this marker but don’t control it.  So, in this study, the first thing I have to find out is if I carry this marker. If I do, I can go to NIH in Bethesda, MD and undergo apheresis (separation of the individual components of your blood) to obtain stem cells (for later study) and get an infusion of white blood cells from one of these non-progressor folks.  There’s a possibility that I would get up to 3 infusions with 3 months in between each.  First thing in the morning, I’m going to be calling the trial director to see what I have to do to get the blood test to find out if I have the marker.

The other trial is very scary but also very interesting.  I’m sure you’ve heard of “The Berlin Patient” who was completely cured of AIDS.  Even though they call him that, he’s actually from here in the US, he just fell ill while visiting in Germany and got “lucky” in his treatment.  Everyone has been asking me why I can’t get “cured” like him. Well, he had a virulent form of lymphoma that was detected while he was in Germany and it was in the process of getting rid of that illness that they stumbled on actually getting the HIV out of his system.  I can tell you that he remains HIV negative now.  I’ve been on several chat rooms with him and talked with him. He’s a very nice guy but has warned us that it was no picnic to achieve his now good health.

This other trial is through the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle and seems to be following the protocol they used on him. This is the title of the trial: “Fludarabine and Total Body Irradiation followed by Donor Stem Cell Transplant & Cyclosporine & Mycophenolate Mofetil in Treating HIV+ Patients with or without Cancer” Okay, let’s take that one word at a time, shall we?  Fludarabine is an antimetabolite chemotherapy drug used in salvage therapy for lymphoma. They say you would get this infusion for 4 continuous days before the irradiation. Total body irradiation is done to completely wipe out your immune system so that you don’t reject the stem cell transplant.  These two components would be the first part of the trial.

The second stage would be the actual stem cell transplant which would happen as soon as they irradiated your body. Then you have to stay close for the engraftment phase, making sure that the transplant “took”.  They do this by monitoring the rise back in your white blood cells.

The third stage would be taking Cyclosporine and the Myco so that your body doesn’t make an immune response to the newly transplanted stem cells that you got from the donor. This protocol needs to be taken for at least 180 days after the stem cell transplant.

If I were to do this, I would be spending at least three months in Seattle for the first two phases and I would be able to return to Buffalo and be monitored by my own doctor in the third phase.

So, you can obviously see why I’m not sleeping right now.  There are some big decisions to be made.  Of course, if I qualify for that first study, that’s a piece of cake.  Somehow, though, with my luck, I’m probably going to end up having to make a decision on being the “Buffalo Patient”. On one hand, it is rather exciting.  I’ve always wanted to be able to help others, that’s why I became an RN in the first place.  I just never thought it would be my own body that was being used for the future of medical science.

On the other hand, it is a very scary proposition to put my already diseased immune system into total failure.  But, putting it here in writing has helped me to digest it a little more myself.  I have several friends who’ve undergone stem cell transplants that were a lot sicker than me (with cancer) and came out just fine.  I’ve sort of come to a point where the alternative is not much better, really.  If I continue to go my merry way without any sort of drugs, I’m headed for disaster when my t-cells get back in that single digit range, anyway.  At least if I’m getting this treatment, I’ll have some of the best minds in the country working on me, right?

Like I said, I’m going to leave it up to Fate/God/the Creator.  I’m going to call NIH tomorrow and get that information and find out first whether I qualify or not for that simpler trial in Bethesda.  That will take awhile, no doubt, getting that marker lab work.  By then, I should be able to research the crap out of this other trial.  I think I’ll look for Mr. Berlin Patient on the boards, too and see if I can pick his brain a bit.

Sorry if this was a bit of a technical post, I tried to explain it as easy as I could and I really needed to write it down, if only for my own sake.  I think more clearly when I see things in front of me!

Speaking of which, it’s going to be another perfect day here! I’m sitting here at almost 4 in the morning and it’s 43 degrees outside.  Now, if you aren’t from around here, you probably don’t think that’s anything to be excited about.  That’s really warm for just about any evening in Wyoming, which is one of the things I love about this place.  It can get super warm during the day, but as soon as that sun goes down, you better have a jacket.  I was just out on the back deck and it was splendid!  I really love crisp evenings and early mornings.  The one thing I really don’t miss about back East is the bloody hot nights.  I’m pretty much always hot anyway, which is why I like living here so much.  Sure saves on the air conditioning, too.  We only run it during the day in the summer here because it cools down so nicely in the evenings.

Well, I have a busy day ahead but for the life of me I can’t remember what all I have planned at the moment.  Right now, I plan on getting a big ole cup of coffee and sitting out on the deck and watching the sunrise, if it ever does now that it’s daylight savings time!  There’s a Great Horned Owl somewhere in the neighborhood, I can hear him hooting right now through the window! I hope you have a fantastic day and you count your blessings.  No matter what’s going on and what decisions we have to make, we’re here and we have the luxury of making them and that’s what counts.

Although every man believes that his decisions and resolutions involve the most multifarious factors, in reality they are mere oscillation between flight and longing.  ~Herman Broch

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

bad and good surprises...

Good morning, my fine friends! I hope everyone has been enjoying their week! I know I sure have. I just looked at the weather for the next ten days and we are supposed to stay in the 60-70 degree range! I think someone is playing a very dirty trick on us, but I’ll sure take it! The whole town is abuzz with talk of this incredible weather.  No one is getting fooled, though, we all know there’s some dumps of snow in our future yet before we hit summer! Of course, I have moved around all my clothes in anticipation, anyway, but my heavy winter stuff is still within easy reach. In the meantime, I’ve been finding anything and everything to do outside!

Yesterday morning, I went outside town to visit my girlfriend, Sherry, who is suffering from a double ear infection.  Poor girl was just miserable when I got there! She had tried to do a full shift of cleaning at the Senior Center the night before and was really paying for it yesterday.  When I got there, she was all huddled in her recliner under mounds of blankets.  After getting us some coffee and talking for a bit, I turned on some soothing music and did some Reiki energy work on her, ending with a nice session concentrating on her ears.  By the time I left, she was up and feeling a little better.  I just love going out to her house. She lives on the family ranch property about 5 miles south of Buffalo and the view of the mountains from her house is just breathtaking as there’s nothing between her property and the mountains.  We sat out on her porch for a bit and soaked up that delicious sun and watched the horses meander around at the ranch next door.  While I was there, she told me about a friend who had died the day before, I had just happened to be listening to the scanner when the call came in and was very saddened to find out it was Don Vogl.

Don and Lois are dear friends of one of my besties, Pam and her husband, Tom. So, as soon as I left Sherry, I made a beeline for Pam’s office to see if she was doing okay.  Turns out that Tom had left Don just about 20 minutes before Don suffered his massive heart attack the day before.  Poor Lois has no family close by, so Pam and Tom stayed with her for most of the night.  Her son is due in from Cheyenne today, that will be a help.  Gosh, it’s just so awful when someone is there one minute and gone the next.  Pam said they did CPR on Don for over 45 minutes before calling it off. A sad day, indeed.  My heart goes out to Lois, that’s for sure. When Pam and Tom got married several years ago up on the mountain, Don was Tom’s best man and I was Pam’s matron of honor.  I’m really still in shock about the whole thing and I think so are they. Pam says Don was just in her office that morning, fixing something for her, too.

Pam and Tom's wedding, that's Don on the left

That’s one of the reasons I always make sure that people know I care about them all the time.  You just never know when your time is up, do you? We tend to take for granted that we’ll be around forever but we just never know, really. Sometimes, it’s rough living in a small town because you get intimately involved with so many people and at times it seems like people die more frequently.  I really don’t think that’s the case, though, I think it’s just that in a small town you know them or at least have run into them at some point. I swear I’ve never been to so many funerals as I have since I’ve moved here.

Well, that all happened before lunch, if you can believe it! After having a nice lunch with my husband, who I hugged a little tighter than usual when he went back to work, I had to run once again to Sheridan.  Man, the gas prices are starting to really jump, aren’t they? I had to fill up while I was over there and it went up about 20 cents, just in the past few days! I know we have some of the lowest gas prices in the nation, thank goodness, but paying 3.23 for a gallon of gas was not fun! It was 3.35 here in Buffalo, so I’m glad I waited to fill up in Sheridan!  I’m fortunate that I have a very efficient vehicle that I bought back in 2006 that Ford no longer makes. It’s a Freestyle and basically it’s a Volvo with a Ford label. I get almost 35 miles to the gallon with it.  That makes up for Rob’s F250 Super Duty Crew Cab, that gets about 15! I do love his truck, however, it’s like the Cadillac of trucks. We have budgeted extra money for our vacation next month because despite the rising gas prices, we’re taking the truck,  because it’s just so darn comfortable to ride in.

Anyway, I had to stop in and see Dr Quinn’s office staff and get some insurance papers and then run downtown and pick up a new pair of racquetball shoes for Rob.  We had looked at them a couple of weeks ago and he really should have tried them on and bought them then, but we were in a hurry that day.  So, I brought his old pair and the clerk and I figured out which size looked right. Thank goodness, they did fit!  His old pair had seen much better days.  Racquetball is really hard on your feet and shoes with all the fast stopping and starting.

I also stopped in Door 54, one of my favorite little boutiques, and picked up a pretty little satin nightgown and robe for my girlfriend, Becca, whose birthday was yesterday.  I can now tell you that her husband and I pulled off a surprise birthday party for her last night at our local eatery, Up In Smoke. He had told her he was taking her to Winchester’s for dinner and had gotten a babysitter for their four kids.  The babysitter was supposed to be taking the kids to Pizza Hut for dinner and they left right before Ray and Becca did.  In reality, the kids came straight down to Up In Smoke, where there was about 35 people waiting.  Now, the restaurant is only open on the weekends so Ray had to tell Becca that he got a text from Laura, the owner, saying she was down there preparing some food for the weekend and would they mind stopping in on their way to dinner as she had a gift for Becca. Oh, and Ray had me contact everyone to come as he and Becca have their own business and he couldn’t do it on his own.  Not knowing half of her friends, I had to go to her facebook page and private message everyone I saw was from Buffalo and keep my fingers crossed they checked their messages!

Becca, the birthday girl, on another occasion

Anyway, you should have seen the look on her face when she opened the restaurant door and saw all the people and her own kids standing there! It was priceless!  I even talked the Wild Bunch into coming and bringing the noose to hang her.  Up in Smoke, which is a lovely organic restaurant, did a fantastic job with the food and Lanna Wing, one of the professional photographers here, was there to record the whole party in pictures.  Towards the end of the evening, Becca was teasing Ray that their 10^th wedding anniversary is coming up and she can’t wait to see how he’s going to top this!  Ray, all I can say is diamonds….

So, yesterday was quite a full day and I ran the entire gamut of emotions as you can well imagine. Whew!  Life sure is interesting.  So much for small, boring towns, eh?

Today, we have the Chamber of Commerce, State of the Chamber Luncheon.  I’ll tell you all about that tomorrow and hopefully, nothing untoward will pop up in the meantime. It’s hump day and I for one am glad we’re already half way through the week.  I feel like I’ve been through a full week, already!

Existence is a strange bargain. Life owes us little; we owe it everything. The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose. ~William Cowper

in search of clinical trials...

Baby Fox out on Kumor Road

So, Tuesday, we meet again! Man, I tell you, the days sure are going fast! I can’t believe we’ve hit the middle of March already! Does everyone have plans for St Patrick’s Day this weekend? We’re having a big old bash down at the Moose here.  I’m making the Irish soda bread and Terry, one of my nearest and dearest friends, has offered to make the corned beef and cabbage for the Lodge.  We’ve even got Melody coming in for musical entertainment! Should be a fun time.  I’m so glad that St Patty’s is finally on a weekend this year! Of course, teetotaler that I am, we’ve decided to skip Friday happy hour.  Rob will drag out his hideous shamrock tie for the occasion, too.

Yesterday was another gorgeous day here. Thistle and I managed to get a nice little walk in around the neighborhood. I can tell we have some serious training to do with her leash again. She got out of the habit while I was laid up with my bum knee and it’s pretty much back to square one on how to walk next to me.  She’s so smart, though, I have a feeling we’ll be back to walking correctly in just a matter of days. By the end of the walk, she was listening and not straining, anyway.  Gosh, she’s getting so freaking strong!  She’s much more compact than Tumbleweed was and I think a lot more muscular. I don’t think she’s going to get as tall, either. Last time we weighed her at the vet, she was hitting 53 pounds! I sure hope we are almost to the end of her growth spurt!

Yesterday afternoon, I went to my first physical therapy appointment with Joey to try to get my neck feeling better.  After a lot of twisting and pulling and many weird little tests of arm and shoulder strength, he told me that my disc isn’t in too bad shape yet.   It hasn’t caused any irreversible damage, anyway.  So, now I’m going to be using a big exercise ball in front of the computer to stabilize my spine and keep my posture better and he gave me a lot of exercises to do to strengthen my neck muscles.  The exercises are real easy and are designed to use the deep muscles instead of my traps and large muscles, that we usually rely on.  I kinda feel like Spock when I do them because they all only require one finger’s worth of pressure to do! I’m supposed to do these exercises many times a day and I’ll go back and see Joey next Monday.  It was kinda funny when he was asking me questions, though, especially about neuropathy, since I have that from drug side effects and the MS, it was difficult for him to figure out how much was coming from my neck.  I kept teasing him that I’m the patient from hell with all my problems.

Joey and I go pretty far back as friends. He has a twin named Wes, who is a jailer here in town and I’m really good friends with Wes’s wife, Lisa.  Lisa’s mom owns the Mansion House Inn, one of nicest hotels here in town and they all used to run the Pines Lodge up on the mountain where we used to have Sunday brunch every weekend. We’re just one big happy family here. Lisa’s daughter, Samantha, is getting married this summer and we’ve been invited to the wedding. She’s off at Chadron right now in college. I just adore Sammie, she’s one of those kids that’s always felt comfortable around adults.  When she was home for the holidays, she brought her great dog, Vegas,  over to play with Thistle and we had a great afternoon, just the two of us.

Today is going to be another busy one.  My friend Sherry went to the doc yesterday and has a double ear infection so I’m going to go check on her and see if there’s anything I can do for her as she lives outside town and alone. I made her up some little containers of food to get her through so she doesn’t have to cook while she’s feeling bad. She has a rather rambunctious chocolate Lab named Kola who is going to need a little attention while I’m out there, too. He’s a doll but I swear that dog has springs for legs! Thistle really likes him but is still a little fearful of him as he really gets going when she’s around. I figure she can keep him occupied while I take care of Sherry.

This afternoon I have to go to Sheridan again. We have a policy with AFLAC and I need to get some paperwork from Dr Quinn’s office to send in for my knee.  Since it was an accident that caused my knee to tear, it’s covered.  I think the “duck” people are gonna rue the day they gave me an accident policy as I’m pretty much a walking disaster most of the time. This is the second claim I’ve had with them already and we just got the policy last summer! The other claim was when I spilled hot coffee in my lap right after Christmas, causing 2^nd degree burns. No, I can’t sue anyone, it was my own darn coffee. I wouldn’t do that anyway.

I spent a lot of time last night looking up clinical trials for new meds that are coming down the pipeline in AIDS research. I told you that right now I’m not on anything as the last stuff I was on is no longer working.  That stuff was what they call “salvage therapy”, meaning it was the last of what they thought might work for me.  HIV is a nasty virus that mutates so that it becomes resistant to what ever you throw at it. I have now become resistant to everything that’s available. When I was talking to my doc, Sandy, the other day, I asked her if she’d be willing to administer a drug if I could get in on a clinical trial and she agreed. So far, the only ones I’ve found are injectables and I’m not real keen on that. But, if that’s what I have to do to stay alive, I guess I’d consider it. I was once on a drug that I had to inject in my thighs and it left these horrible hard spots and it got to the point where I was having trouble finding a place to stick the needle. Also, you had to mix and do all kinds of crazy stuiff with the drug before you even used it and then massage the area to try to keep down the hard spots afterwards.  Then, it ended up not working anyway!

Clinical trials can be scary.  I did a lot of them in the early days back at Johns Hopkins and depending on the phase, you sometimes are quite the guinea pig.  Luckily, in order for it to be administered by my doctor here, it has to be a phase 3, which is mostly studying effectiveness and side effects. Wish me luck because I can’t go too much longer without some sort of antiretroviral in my system. My t-cells were only 71 as of 2 ½  months ago and who knows where they are now.  I go in for more bloodwork next month.  I’ve been down as low as 3 (Manny, Moe and Jack) and let me tell ya, that’s not cool. I mostly have to worry about things that are already living in my body, like shingles from chicken pox (the virus lives in your body forever but your healthy immune system keeps it in check), Cytomeglovirus, TB, Mycobacterium Avium Complex ( a bird disease you get from soil) and a host of other things that live in a normal person’s body with no problem because you own defenses keep them under control.  In my case, the lower my immune system, the more likely one of those organisms living in me will surface.  I regularly used to get shingles, every spring, but I’m on Acyclovir full time so it only sprouts on occasion now.

Nothing boring about my life, right? There’s always something to do, something to research. I don’t know how patients who don’t have a medical degree make it through all this.  I keep up my nursing license just so I can access journal articles and doctor websites for information. In these days of overworked doctors, I’ll be damned if I get pushed aside because they didn’t have time to look up the latest information. I’m my only patient, right?

Okay, enough serious stuff.  It’s going to be a beautiful day and I can’t wait for the sun to come up and shine on my beautiful mountains. The snow is already starting to melt a bit up there and show patches of granite.  I can’t really drive back any of the trailheads right now because they’ve become a soupy mess of mud. I imagine they’ll be closing a lot of the trail roads any day now to keep them from getting totally ruined before summer.  That’s okay by me.  That means when Rob and I get out and walk, we’ll see more Moose as they get scared off by all the motorized traffic anyway.  They should be calfing now and hopefully we’ll see some of those exquisitely ugly/cute moose babies soon. I swear, moose calves are the most awkward looking things I’ve ever seen, all legs!

Moose crossing Hwy 16 right past Paradise turnoff

I hope that whatever’s going on in your life, you are able to see the good that’s going on.  Count your blessings, instead of your lack, that’s what I always say.  It does you no good to lament what’s wrong with your life, you’ve just got to put on a smile and usually you’ll find everyone smiles back and it will make the world seem better just by doing that. The fact that you have a computer to read my writings means you are ahead of most of the world already!

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse” ~Henry Van Dyke

another blooming Monday...

Mtn Plain Heritage Park sunrise

Too many more days like yesterday and I may just burst into a flower, myself! Wow, I just am so thankful for this amazing weather we’ve been having! I’m trying not to get too excited about it because I know we still have some snow days to contend with…or do we? Gosh, wouldn’t it be cool if we actually stayed like this? Nah, ain’t gonna happen, no matter how much I wish for it, I do live in Wyoming where it even snows in June more often than not. But, I am going to relish every pea picking moment of this, I tell you!

Rob and I spent most of the day outside yesterday.  He went out to the Sale barn, where they auction off the livestock and picked up a nice big truckload of manure and came back and slung it all over the garden.  Since we don’t plant til the middle of May, that will give it plenty of time to soak in. He also broke down all the cardboard boxes we’ve accumulated over the winter in the garage and took them off to the recycling center. Now, we can walk around in the garage again!

Me and Thistle were mostly lazy.  I just received my Reiki Master designation a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been pouring over a lot of the books that go along with it so yesterday I turned up the stereo and brought all my books out on the deck and read in the sunshine.  Thistle busied herself with digging up half the backyard until I caught her at it.  I had to put a baby gate up at the top of the deck stairs and keep her with me on the deck after that little fiasco.

You see, the original part of the house is over 100 years old and evidently way back when they had a trash line in the back yard where they threw the trash. We found that out when we buried our first dog shortly after we moved here. Our inner backyard, where Thistle is, has this long hump that goes the full length across it.  When we buried Heidi, our sheltie, at the bottom of it, we dug up all kinds of interesting things from the turn of the century.  Well, Thistle has an incredible nose and about a week or so ago she started digging on that hump, right below our owl tree carving.  She got down about two feet and found a freaking ball! As soon as she found that ball, she quit digging there.  Yesterday, she started up on several different places along the hump. If it weren’t so muddy back there right now, I’d probably let her continue, because I’m just as curious as she is about what’s under there.

We are eventually going to dig that whole line up so we can level the backyard better but we aren’t quite ready. In the meantime, these holes she’s digging are really deep and I’m worried I’m going to accidently step in one and twist an ankle, if it gets covered up with snow again. That’s the last thing I need right now!

We had a lovely lunch on the deck, too.  We were just amazed that we were out on the deck in March!  I actually have a sunburn today! I keep forgetting how much closer to the sun we are at this elevation.  Oh, and Rob found another stray dog yesterday and we had to call the cops to come get the poor girl.  She was a real sweet birddog of some kind with a cute little docked tail, no collar, of course, despite our city regulations. Thistle thought she was real nice, but then Thistle just loves any dog she comes across. The poor stray had a nasty wound on her back paw. I hope they take care of that at the animal shelter.  This is the second dog in a week we’ve had to catch and call in.  The nice thing is that our shelter here is no-kill so even if someone doesn’t claim them, they are safe. I have a feeling someone will be claiming this sweet girl, though, she didn’t look underfed or anything.

Today is my tanning day so that’s the first thing I gotta get done.  With the nice weather, I think I’ll go wash the car while I’m out, too.  Then Miss Thistle and I are going to take a nice long walk on the Clear Creek trail and see what is starting to pop in the woods. My knee is totally back to normal already and it’s high time I get back into the walking routine.  Thistle has gotten out of the habit of walking on lead because of me being out of commission so long so we’ll be doing a lot of stopping and starting to get her back in the swing of listening again.

After lunch, I have my first physical therapy appointment to work on my neck problems.  I hope they have some good exercises I can do at home.  I think Quinn said they were going to do some ultrasound, that will feel good! I’m really glad he doesn’t want to do surgery anytime soon.  I have a girlfriend, Kim, who is in the same (or worse) shape with the same bulging disc problems and they are recommending surgery for her.  She’s going for a second opinion this week, just to be on the safe side.  We do not have the same doctor although they are in the same surgical group in Sheridan.

All in all, I think it’s gonna be a pretty lazy day.  I’m going to try to soak up as much sunshine as possible because I know this great warm weather isn’t going to last forever. I really should be indoors cleaning the house and calling relatives and friends back east but that just ain’t happening as long as this gorgeous weather persists!

Funny Thistle likes to "hang" on my chair in the evenings

I’ve been upstairs moving my clothes around in anticipation of wearing lighter clothes and I was quite pleased to find out that all of my summer clothes either fit or are a bit big.  Now, that’s been a nice surprise! This medical vegetarian diet I’ve been on so long really doesn’t allow me to gain any weight.  I've actually lost weight over this winter, about another 15 pounds. Usually, I’m in a pretty bad mood when I get to the summer clothes after a long winter, but not this year!  I’ve already set aside the clothes I’ll need for the Arizona trip and for once I won’t be scrambling to go buy clothes that fit! I can even fit into my bikinis, but I tell you right now that I won't be wearing those anywhere but in my backyard. I don't think women of my age should, no matter how good they think they look. I can’t believe I’m actually smaller than I was in high school now.  I tell ya, though, things don’t sit the way they did back then. Oh well, we aren’t getting any younger, right?

I hope wherever you are, you are enjoying a nice day, as well.  If not, you’ll just have to make up some sunshine in your mind, right?  There’s always something to be thankful for, no matter what’s going on, take it from me. Have a beautiful Monday, friends!

boarding, bands and basking in the sun...

Beautiful mountains!

Oh my goodness, what amazing weather we are having right now! It actually got up to 70 degrees yesterday here in good old Buffalo, WY! It was fun to see all the grinning people walking around town all day, dressed in summer clothes. Rob and I tried to find as much to do outside as possible, realizing this is probably just a tease.  The weatherman on the Casper news said that we can expect this for the next 7 days, though!

We got up nice and early because we had an appointment with Barbara in Sheridan to meet her and see the kennel where Thistle will be staying during our vacation next month.  Since it was such a beautiful day, we took the scenic route along

Kumor Road

and around the lake to get up to I-90.  The little pond where all the birds hang out in summer on Kumor is starting to thaw and we saw a bunch of big old geese hanging out there already.  The lake is still frozen pretty well.  Rob says he was talking to Rick D, who oversees the lake for the County, and Rick said there’s still an 18 inch thickness out there.  Good thing, because there sure were a lot of ice fishermen out there! Great day for it, that’s for sure.  There was hardly even any wind out at the lake, which is pretty unusual.

Barbara’s place is about 3 miles outside Sheridan near the golf course and she has a beautiful view of the mountains out there.  She has a black standard poodle of her own, whose name escapes me at the moment, but he’s a real sweetie pie.  After doing a little “talking” to Thistle, off they went with a young yellow lab who’s boarding there, to play on the 2½ fenced acres while us grownups talked.  Thistle had a blast and we’ve decided that, indeed, this is the perfect place to leave her while we’re gone. We usually take our dog when we go on vacation if we can but this particular trip we just can’t because we’ll be in a lot of places that dogs aren’t allowed and it just wouldn’t be fair to her. We’ll call frequently, though, just to check on her, like any parent would.

We had lunch in Sheridan with Chuck Belus, who we’re doing a band website for. Gosh, what a talented guy, he is!  He was telling us all about the ins and outs of getting sponsors for the band and how he’s getting his first CD put together. I had no idea it was so expensive to cut a CD! He was also telling us that starting pretty soon, he and Cindy Rogers will be doing some music at the Bozeman in Big Horn during the dinner hour on some weekends, just him on guitar and her on fiddle.  We’ll definitely have to go to dinner and check that out. Cindy is just so amazing on her fiddle! Combine that with Chuck’s musical talent and his unique voice and I think that’s a winning combination. I really see this Chuck Belus and the Let Er Buck Band going places! He says they are practicing quite a bit.  Original songs just seem to come to him so easy, too.

We had to stop a couple of places and pick up a few things, as always, while we were in Sheridan.  We discovered a new liquor through the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation magazine that we’ve been wanting to try, it’s a Blackberry Whiskey called Bird Dog. There’s only one place in Sheridan that carries it, T & C Liquor, so we stopped and bought a bottle to try. I have been drinking Captain Morgan for about the last 20 years and I’ve been trying to find something new to drink, I’m hoping this may be it.  If I like it a lot, I’m going to ask the Moose to carry it for me. I think I mentioned I’m one of those weirdos that drinks my alcohol straight, preferring to have my non-alcoholic drink as a side.  That means I don’t drink just any old rot gut alcohol, it’s gotta taste good!  I’m pretty picky and have run through a lot of different stuff over the years that I just can’t stomach anymore.  I used to love single malt scotch, Laphroig, but I woke up in a snow bank back east after imbibing a bit too much of that stuff many years ago and now I can’t even stand the smell of scotch!

I’m a real teetotaler lately, anyway.  I’m lucky if I can get down two of my rocks glasses of booze on a Friday evening these days.  At least that makes me a cheap date, right?  I really spend most of my time at the Moose talking with my friends, the booze in front of me is just there for show mostly.  Alcohol just doesn’t make me feel very good the next day anymore and I have too much I like to get done on Saturdays to be spending it sitting around feeling puny. That’s one of the reasons I always bring food to the Moose on Fridays….to soak up what little alcohol I do drink so I don’t have a hangover the next day!  The other night I made a wonderful Rueben dip to take down there which got scarfed up by everyone in pretty short order! I love corned beef and right now it’s everywhere with St Patty’s day coming up so it was a logical appetizer to make and so darn easy.

The return trip to Buffalo was just glorious! The mountains were shining so pretty and white with all the snow on them and the sun was reflecting on them so beautifully!  We had the windows rolled down and we were yelling greetings out to all the wildlife we passed along the way.  Calving season is in full swing and we were laughing at all the little ones that were running around the pastures along the highway, kicking up their little heels, they looked like they were really enjoying the warmth as much as we were.  I think calves are just the cutest little things! Too bad they grow up to be cows, eh? Cows look so out of proportion to me.  They have those huge bodies and it’s all sitting on those stick legs, weird if you ask me. My mom says I’ve always had a fascination with cows.  When I was little in Texas, we’d pass a field of longhorn cattle and Mom says I would always lament that “Poor, poor moo cows got no shoes and socks” and “Poor, poor moo cows got no bafroom” Strange child, I was, I guess.

Even the horses were enjoying the great day!

Anyway, we spent most of the afternoon trying to stay out in the sun, soaking up as much of that yummy warmth as we could.  We still can’t get those white Christmas trees out of the front garden, though, they are pretty darn frozen in there.  Hopefully, since we are supposed to stay in the upper 60’s for the next 7 days, they’ll loosen up with all the tugging we’ve been doing and I can finally get them put away. We did manage to get a lot of the old growth cleared out of the flower beds and there sure is a lot of stuff in there that thinks it’s time to come up!  Today we’re going to mulch some of it because we know that the snow’s not over yet. I’m worried about our lilac bushes, though, they are already budding and it’s way too soon.  Our lilac hedge completely surrounds our property on three sides and if those buds get burned by a frost I’m gonna be really sad.  When that hedge blooms, it’s mighty intoxicating with the smell!  It sure would be awesome if we were really getting an early jump on the nice weather, though!

Well, hope you turned your clock up an hour for Daylight Savings.  Otherwise, you’ll be an hour behind everyone till you figure it out!  While I think the whole concept is rather silly, I do enjoy the fact that it makes it seem like we have an extra hour of daylight in the evening.  Rob is all excited that he’ll have time to work outside after work every day now.  He’s ahead of the game with the big veggie garden this year, we actually managed to clear out all the old vegetation and get it tilled before the first snowfall hit last fall. We even put a nice big stinky layer of manure down. You know, due to the crazy wind here, there’s no such thing as “topsoil” in Wyoming, you have to make it yourself.  When we first put in the garden 14 years ago, we had a company in Gillette, Dirtworks, bring in a huge pile of manufactured topsoil, it was a whole dump truck and a pull behind’s worth.  Since then, every spring and fall we add more manure and straw and in the winter we throw all our veggie scraps out there.  We’ve gotten it so it’s pretty rich now. Others in town are always asking how we grow such great vegetables and I tell them, hard work, that’s how. 

This past fall I canned over 150 jars of tomatoes, 100 jars of green beans and a lot of various jellies and sauces.  We also put up fresh onions and carrots that we are still eating now. I used to enter my stuff in the County Fair but one year they made me so mad I haven’t put anything in again.  I had entered some canned wax beans, which are yellow, right?  Well, they gave them back to me and had crossed out wax beans and wrote green beans on them and then wrote that they were the wrong color!!! Now, I’m sorry but if the judges are that stupid, I am not going to waste my time making up these perfect jars for them. You see, the jars I make for the fair have to be “just so”, not like the ones I make for us to eat.  One year I had 27 different kinds of canned goods I entered. That’s a lot of work! Of course, that year, I won Best in Show, which is what I’d been striving for and there’s really no need to do it again. I like it now, I can just go enjoy the fair and not be slaving in the kitchen and worrying about deadlines. I think this year I might enter the birdhouse contest, though, that’d be fun.

Okay, time to get up and at ‘em.  I hope your Sunday is as beautiful as I know mine’s going to be.  All I have to do today is laundry, which pretty much takes care of itself, so I’m going to grab a nice book and see if I can soak up as much sunshine as is possible today!

Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower.~Hans Christian Anderson

spring forward!

Last year's front garden!  Can't wait!!

Well, a big old Happy Saturday to everyone!  I hope your week was as productive as mine and you are planning on having a nice relaxing weekend.  It is supposed to be gorgeous here in Buffalo today, as it sure was yesterday!  Gosh, yesterday, the sign on the bank actually said 69 degrees when I drove by in the afternoon.  I sure hope Mother Nature isn’t playing with us too much and we actually have an early spring this year.  Last year's was such a long winter, I think we really deserve a break this year.

I was worried about the lack of snow pack and the upcoming fire season but I just got an email from Marilyn Connelly, our Homeland Security/Emergency Management officer, and she says we are 130% of snow pack up on the mountain, so that’s really cool.  She was rounding us all up for another season of possible flooding preparedness and as the head of the Disaster Animal Response Team, I’m one of the ones that has to keep an eye on what’s happening with the creek that flows through the middle of town.  Last year, we were at 600% and it was a close call that the town would have flooding.  We even had all the businesses sandbagged last year that were close to the water.  We got really lucky last year, the snow melt ended up being nice and gradual and even though there were a few times the creek level got very high, we never had to implement any evacuations.  This 130% is just about right and there shouldn’t be a problem at all. The feds insist that we be prepared with our team, though, hence the email blast from Marilyn.

I was just down yesterday walking Thistle along Clear Creek and it was anything but clear! There was a steady stream (pun intended) of very muddy water coming off the mountain so it must already be melting pretty well.  I always wonder how the fish like it when it’s so muddy! We have some excellent fishing in Clear Creek.  On a warm spring day, before the creek turns to a summer trickle, you can see fisherman in waders all up and down the creek, casting their fly lines, even right in the middle of town. 

We aren’t out of the woods yet, though.  Now is the time we get the really heavy spring snowstorms.  The first year we moved here, we had a 3 foot snow on April 15^th that took down the Eagles roof and many other properties here in town.  Of course, just a day later, after the damage was done, the snow had melted away as if nothing had happened!

So, today it’s supposed to get right back up into the 60’s and I can’t wait.  Rob and I have to go to Sheridan to meet Bobbie’s mom (of the 5 dog fame that I walk with) who runs a boarding kennel where we’re going to leave Thistle while we’re on vacation next month.  We’re taking Thistle along, of course, so she can meet Barbara, too.  I was talking with Bobbie last night at happy hour at the Moose and she said her mom was really looking forward to meeting Thistle as she’s been watching her grow up through my pictures on FB. Barbara and I just recently friended each other on FB and really haven’t had a chance to talk yet.  If she’s anything like Bobbie, I know I’m really gonna like her.  Of course, anyone who dedicates themselves to animals is okay in my book, right?

We are also having lunch with Chuck Belus while we’re over there at the Dragon Wall Buffet to discuss his new website some more.  He’s the guy I told you about earlier that has a great band! A lot of his music is the rodeo rock genre like Chris LeDoux and we just love it! It’s kind of weird that we are meeting with him the day after the anniversary of LeDoux’s death.  I can’t believe Chris has been gone since 2005.  He was such a down to earth guy, not like most musical stars.  He helped so many people in this community when he wasn’t on the road touring.  I used to bump into him at the grocery store and in local restaurants all the time and he was just like the rest of us. He was always such a gentleman, tipping his cowboy hat at the ladies and always willing to make small talk.

I am getting such spring fever, I don’t know what to do with myself!  This warm weather has finally uncovered my Christmas solar lights I had stuck in the front garden and I was able to get some of them out of the ground yesterday.  See, the ground gets so frozen here in winter, that sometimes I just have to leave them in the ground until this time of year. Because of that, mine are just pretty snowflakes on sticks and white trees, that way, they just look like winter ornaments and not something I have to worry about yanking out when I can’t do it to save myself! I’m actually going to miss the pretty twinklers out there! I couldn’t get my little white trees out of the ground yesterday, they are a little deeper and still frozen but I imagine that will soften up today or tomorrow at the rate it’s staying warm overnight.

After I get those buggers out of the ground, I’m going to start clearing out last year’s dead stuff in that front garden.  I noticed some of my perennials are already starting to shoot up some life into the garden. I may have to mulch them to protect the little things as I don’t think they should be coming up quite yet.  We have gotten our front flower gardens so they are pretty much maintenance free with all the perennials we have planted.  Mostly, I just have to throw in a few marigolds and border creepers and we’re done.  I do have to put in my dinnerplate dahlias that I dug up last fall.  Rob and I both just adore flowers and I think we have one of the prettiest front gardens in town, if you ask me. Last year, we even had a resident garter snake which is the sign of a really healthy garden.  He liked to lay out on one of the scoria rocks I put in there to sun himself every morning.  I named him Jake, as in Jake the snake.  They are great for keeping the bugs out.  One of my girlfriends is terrified of snakes and it’s amusing when she comes over and he’s out.  Gosh, Jake is only about 12 inches long, for Pete’s sake. Of course, if he comes back this year, he may be larger.

Jake the Snake- isn't he a cute little thing?

My parents used to have a cabin in West Virginia that was deep in the woods outside Berkeley Springs.  We had a black snake that lived under the deck. The deck ran the entire length of the cabin and so did Mavis, the snake.  We’d be out on the deck having lunch and you could see the end of Mavis’ tail at one end of the deck and she’d have her head up and looking at us at the other end.  I think she was close to 14 feet long!  Black snakes are not poisonous so she didn’t bother us a bit, again, she kept the mice out of the cabin while we were gone and I’m sure kept intruders of the human persuasion away, as well! She mostly lived in the rafters underneath and was very calm and friendly for a snake.  I don’t mind snakes, as long as they aren’t water moccasins or rattlers.  Growing up in Texas, I saw a lot of those buggers and to this day I stomp when I go on hikes on the prairie around here!  Just want to make sure they hear me coming and get the heck out of the way!

We have this great area outside town that is a petrified forest, it was once a lush swampy forest area millions of years ago.  It’s a great place to hike and to take friends who are visiting.  There’s huge trunks of ancient trees all over the place and the view of the mountains from out there is spectacular!  There are also about a gazillion rattlesnake holes out there that keep you very sharp eyed when you are out there in summer! I took a girlfriend out there once with her two little kids and as we got on the trail, I spied a rattler slithering across the path.  So, I turned to the kids and said “Let’s march and sing our way around the paths!”  My girlfriend looked at me rather puzzled until I silently mouthed the word “snakes” to her and boy, you should have seen her start getting those boys marching and singing! It was hilarious!

Of course, boy will be boys and they quickly discovered the holes everywhere and were throwing rocks in them and sticking their little faces down close.  We had to come up with all kinds of stories about why they shouldn’t do that without alerting them that they were in danger. We did finally tell them that those were rattler holes and the boys were suitably impressed although I think they secretly were hoping one would pop out at them.

Now see what I’ve done, gone off on another story tangent…..geez.  Must mean I need to get moving with my day or I’ll sit here and just keep going.  I hope you have a wonderful weekend wherever you are and that you have lovely weather. If you don’t, and have to stay indoors, I hope you find something fun to do with yourself, anyway!

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. ~Doug Larson

If there comes a little thaw,
Still the air is chill and raw,
Here and there a patch of snow,
Dirtier than the ground below,
Dribbles down a marshy flood;
Ankle-deep you stick in mud
In the meadows while you sing,
"This is Spring."
- Christopher Pearse Cranch

full moon over Friday...

View of mountains from Lake Desmet yesterday

Well, darn it, my sleeping later didn’t last very long! Either that or I’m just experiencing the effects of the full moon tonight.  I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. this morning. I’m secretly a little happy about it, though, as the moon outside is just stunning in the darkness. Right now, it’s hanging right over town above the mountain and it’s so big and bright! There’s not a cloud in the sky that I can see… all I see are amazing stars and so many constellations!  It’s actually quite warm out there, too, almost 38 degrees!  Now, accounting for the clear night and no wind, that is pretty darn warm! Usually, that’s our high temperature this time of year! The weather underground says it’s going to get up to 61 today…whoo hoo!!

Yesterday, I did end up wearing shorts all day and it was so awesome!  My legs were thanking me all the live long day for being able to breathe again after the long winter. I ended up having an extremely busy day yesterday, but not much of the one I actually planned.  Something really got into me yesterday, I guess it was spring fever and the first thing I did was a lot of spring cleaning and rearranging here at the house.  This was all before 9 am!  The reason I remember the time is that I tan on Thursdays at 9.  After tanning, I went to track down Ginnie and found that she was still out at the Lake after the previous evening’s comedy thing that I missed.  She had gotten a room with Tamra so they didn’t have to worry about drinking and driving.  Lake DeSmet is only 12 miles out of town but it’s a lonely, dangerous 12 miles at night, lots of wildlife to worry about. So, when I called Ginnie, I asked her if she was still at the lake and she said yes.  I told her I was coming out there and she told me that she was down by the water.  When I got to her, she was lying on the stone gate entrance to the boat ramp area, basking in the sunshine.  She told me that I really didn’t miss much with the comedy, they were pretty bad.  The first guy had an accordion and you couldn’t hear him over that infernal contraption very well.  The second guy apparently had a very thick Scottish accent and a repertoire of very old jokes.  So much for Comedy Central, I guess.  It made me feel a little better about having to miss it, though!

Coming back into town on Main

After leaving Ginnie and Tamra to pack up their room, I headed back into town and had a lovely lunch out with Rob before going to get my stitches out at the hospital.  Luckily, Dr Quinn comes to Buffalo on Thursdays so I got to see him right here at our little clinic, instead of having to trek all the way to Sheridan for a short appointment.  The stitches did indeed hurt a little when he was pulling the little suckers out!  Gosh, I’m funny about that!  He declared my knee was looking great though and my range of motion was coming along well so I don’t need any physical therapy for it.  We then had to discuss the bulging disc in my neck, which has central stenosis, and has been causing problems for over a year now.  That’s the major reason I go for massage every two weeks.  Quinn says it’s still not damaged enough to do any invasive surgery on (thank goodness) and we agreed that some physical therapy and Flexaril should be the treatment for now.  So, next stop was making appointments for that.  I start the PT on Monday.  I sure hope they can help me because I am tired of the knots in my shoulders and having to pull my shoulders down to get that disc to go back in place!

Since I was on a doctor roll, I stopped by to see Sandy, my family doc, on the off chance she had a free slot because we had some more medical issues to deal with that we were putting off until after my knee was dealt with (I know! I’m a mess!)  She had a free slot open about 20 minutes later, so I stopped over at the Blue Gable Motel next door and visited with my friend Jim, who owns the place, until time to go back over.  Sandy and I had to fill out some obligatory insurance forms I needed to prove to the hospital back east I’m still sick (Ha!) and I needed some forms for AFLAC filled out as I am filing for the accident for my knee and for when I spilled coffee in my lap back right after Christmas.  The medical problem is that I have another bad PAP.  This is pretty scary as I had cervical cancer back in 1990 and I’ve already had a hysterectomy because of it.  I’m not looking forward to what may be coming next.  I can’t believe that 22 years later, I’m having problems again.  Unfortunately, one of the side effects of having AIDS is the propensity to get cancer frequently, which I’ve been pretty good at. If it is cancer, it will be my third or fourth, I’m starting to lose track. Sandy was awesome, though, trying to calm me down that this may just be a fluke. The results of the PAP showed a lot of unusual cells, though. She is referring me to a GYN in Sheridan for follow-up in the next week or so.  It’s always something with me, I tell ya.  I guess I better get that mammogram she gave me the rx for pretty quick, eh?

After all the doctoring, I stopped downtown and visited with one of my friends in the courthouse and gave her my cool walker.  Judy had some hip surgery a while back and she’s been using a regular walker with the tennis balls on it.  Thanks to my MS, I have one of those nice, wheely ones with the cool brakes and a seat..and it’s a real pretty red!  She was real happy to have it as the one she was using was scraping up the linoleum at the courthouse.  It did my heart good to be able to help her, too. I told her to keep it as long as she needed it, I didn’t think I’d be needing it anytime too soon.

The nice thing about not being on any HIV drugs right now (they have all failed and I’m waiting for the next new drug in the pipeline) is that my MS is under control for the moment. You see, MS attacks your immune system and because I have AIDS, as long as I’m not taking the meds, and my immune system is down, the MS has nothing to attack! Good thing, because I can’t take any of the MS drugs because they destroy your immune system and logically, that’s not good for the AIDS! Yes, I am a freak.  When I first got diagnosed with MS about 8 years ago, my neurologist was just shaking his head.  He had never seen the combination of the two illnesses before.  I imagine it’s got to be more common now as there are more and more people with HIV but I rarely find any info about it on the web.  He’s the one who said we had to treat one or the other but we could not treat both.  So far, I’ve only had about 5 MS flares since I’ve been diagnosed. Mine is the Secondary-progressive type where relapses and partial recoveries happen but disability doesn’t fade away between the cycles, it progressively worsens until a steady progression of disability replaces the cycle of attacks.  I’ve been lucky so far, I think, in that I’ve had so few attacks.

Anyway, to top our day off, we had a lovely Business After Hours to go to at State Farm Insurance.  Alecia K. has taken over the business from her dad, Ross Elliott, who has semi-retired.  We had a grand old time smoozing with all the local business folk and the Wild Bunch was there to “hang” Alecia as a new business.  Sometimes,  I miss being in the Wild Bunch, I was a member for many years, but they have really started doing so much I just can’t keep up with them anymore.  I’m still an honorary member and I still have my embroidered duster, though! They are the ambassadors for the Chamber of Commerce and in addition to welcoming new businesses, they put on one heck of a great Wyoming Luau every June, complete with lots of roasted pork and music.  For the last few years they’ve also been feeding the musicians for the three days of the Big Horn Mountain Festival. They do a lot more than I’ve mentioned and the town just loves them. 

The Wild Bunch "hangs" Alecia at the Business After Hours

So, it’s Friday and it should be just gorgeous.  I was supposed to go visit my girlfriend Michelle this morning, of the golden retriever, Abby, fame, but her dad’s in ICU in Sheridan, poor dear.  SO, I think me and Ms Thistle are going to go for a nice walk over at Mtn Plains Heritage Park this morning, instead.  Rob and I have our appointment with the accountants this afternoon to find out what we owe good old Uncle Sam for the year.  Good thing that tonight is our Happy hour at the Moose and all is right with the world!

Here’s hoping you have an awesome weekend and wherever you are, your weather is nice and you can get out and enjoy nature! I don’t know what Rob has planned for us this weekend except we are going to meet the owner of the boarding kennel where Thistle will be spending her spa vacation while we’re down in Arizona next month.  She’s over in Sheridan,  so I imagine we’ll at least hit the Elk Pen for some photos and of course, the Dragon Wall Chinese Buffet! 

Ta ta for now, my lovelies!  Be the best you can be and smile, smile, smile!!!