You can dress her up....

I really dislike sympathy. I think I touched on this before, I don’t mind people knowing that I’m fighting a bunch of medical battles but I don’t like it being obvious. Feeling sorry for me is not going to make me any better and it may make you feel a little superior for a moment but it doesn’t help you either. So, I have a bunch of things I do to try to make myself look like everyone else.

Everybody likes to look good, right? You feel so much better with your hair combed, a nice little outfit that makes you feel confident? We all have several outfits that we know we look better in than others,  that we grab when we wanna feel special.  First impressions and all….

My dermatologist in Billings actually has me go to the tanning salon. I have a skin condition thanks to my lovely little companion, the HIV virus, called eosinophilic foliculitus.  That in turn causes something called dermatographia, which means you can write on my skin and leave your name, weird, right? Itches like hell! All I have to do is scratch myself and I start up a whole madness that can travel all over.  Anyway, the most effective way to keep it under control is sunlight.  So, she has me tan.  I’m sure there are people in town that just think I’m vain and want to look like I just got back from a beach vacation but this is why I do it. I actually hate having to slather myself with lotion all the time because the tanning bed causes even drier skin.  The only other treatment for the folliculitis is steroids and I’m not allowed to use any of those because they damage my immune system further (read here..could kill me quick).  I also think I may be getting a little pre-cancerous lesion on my nose, I have to wait til spring now to get back to Billings to see Dr Hawk. The little spot only comes up when I over-tan, but I'm watching the freaky little bugger...

I have this thing about looking presentable, I’ve just told you….we all do to some extent.  But for me, it’s a defense mechanism because I know when you run into me on the street, you are giving me the once-over, looking for signs of me going downhill…admit it...we ALL do it with our sick friends.  I’m going to let you in on a little secret, but you better not throw it back in my face or I will hunt you down and tickle you until you are blue!  The worse I feel, the more well dressed you will find me…. So, if you see me running around town in my bent up ole cowboy hat and ratty jeans and a sweatshirt, rest assured, I’m having a grand day! If, on the other hand, you see me all color coordinated, down to my shoes, looking like I just left one of the offices downtown, I’m probably not feeling too good. Now, shhhh, don’t spread that around.

It all goes back to Saturday Night Live, believe it or not…do you remember Billy Crystal’s character, the latin guy? He used to say in every skit “It is better to looooook good than to feel good, dahling” Funny where you pick up life tips.  But, also, when I do dress myself nicely, it helps a bit, not much, but a bit.  Now, dressing nice in Buffalo is a whole ‘nother animal than anywhere else in the US.  Since we live in windy, cooler conditions most of the year, we dress more practical, even when we are dressed nicely, than most other folk.  I have countless pairs of jeans..dress jeans, town jeans, knock around jeans, garden jeans, hiking jeans.  I have 19 really cute vests ( yes, I counted them) and I have turtlenecks in every color and print you can think of (except those stoopid little animals and hearts and crap) Dresses on the other hand, not so much….the wind likes to grab those suckers and twist them around your face so fast, looks like you are wearing a burka! The other clothing necessity here in WY is a silk scarf. First time I saw a cowboy wearing one, I snickered, thought he was a bit weird.  I tell you, though, you don’t even need a jacket around here if you have a good silk scarf! You double it loosely around you neck and you are warm as can be…get too hot, take it off…they are awesome, I have them in every color now, lots with local cattle brands on them (yeah, I’m cool)

On the same dressing subject……. we have a big shin-dig coming up on Jan 29^th! The Chamber of Commerce is having a Winter Gathering and this year’s theme is “Night at the Oscar’s”  we are going to have a red carpet, couples will be announced as they come in, the paparazzi will be there taking pics, it will be F-U-N. I have decided to emulate Haley Berry for the evening. Found myself a beautiful royal blue strapless floor length dress I could see her in, goes great with my tan, and I even found a fake mink jacket at Best Out West Antiques.  My only problem is always the shoes, need heels, can’t walk in heels…wonder if Rob could carry me in… Oh, it’s gonna be a blast. It’s our one event of the year where we can dress up. We have a 4 course dinner with wine pairing that evening and our tickets include a grand prize drawing  for a trip to Hollywood for like 4 nites, I think.  I won the grand prize at this a couple of years ago. That year it was a trip to Wine Country in CA, limo, plane, tours.  Rob didn’t want to go, so we donated it back at the dinner and it was auctioned off for $5000 right on the spot, which went to the Chamber.  Only way I’d ever be able to donate like that!

Okay, see what you did, I’m off track again!!  Suffice it to say, you now know how to gauge how my days going and I’m not sure I should have told you. But, as I’m sure you’ve figured, I don’t keep much to myself once I start talking, so….another cat outta the bag..meow!

Happy Friday, everyone!!

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them." -Oscar Wilde