2 am madness....

I love old farm/ranch machinery!

I am up earlier than usual this morning. I didn’t think that was possible these days. You see, I’ve had a weird problem since the first of the year…. I fall asleep watching television in the evenings.....nothing I do can keep my eyes open.  I’m sitting in my shake & bake recliner, all warm and full of dinner every evening.  Rob’s in the home office behind me working on websites, which have been kicking our butts lately.  The woodstove is roaring not far from me, emanating warmth like nothing else can. I try everything not to close my eyes.  I get up and hobble over and get a popsicle, maybe that’ll get me back lucid…. Nope, the next thing I know, Rob is looking at me, a little disappointed that I’ve lost another evening of chatting with him. He tells me it’s time to go to bed. I realize I’ve slept an hour (and usually missed some great show) and we trundle off to bed.

Then, the madness begins…I wake up, usually between 3-4 am, stark raving awake! No going back to bed for this girlie.  I’ve never been one that could do that once I’m fully awake. I’m not a napper, either, unless I’m totally exhausted.  This morning I woke up and because of the brightness of the full moon reflecting on the snow outside, I thought I actually got a whole night of sleeping in.  Nope..it was 2 am! Argh!

I must admit, however, I do enjoy this time of morning now.  Everything is so quiet and calm and peaceful.  Even the police scanner is totally silent next to my computer (I just love that thing, asked for it years ago when I was laid up) Of course, our scanner is never really too exciting to begin with. We really don’t have what you’d call “crime” in Buffalo. Oh sure, we have a few kids who make mischief and an occasional gas drive off. Mostly, it reports drunk driving suspects and those awful accidents up on I-90 and I-25. We are at the junction of those two interstates.  We do get our share of drug runners getting caught on the highway, but they aren’t locals.

Until two years ago, we hadn’t had a murder in Johnson County in almost  30 years.  I don’t consider this one two years ago a murder, either. She’d have got off scott-free if it was up to me. The woman who “murdered” her husband had been putting up with horrendous abuse for years.  Her problem was she waited too long after shooting him to call the police. Everyone knows the abuse history of the “murder victim”.  I’m being very polite here because I don’t know who reads this and I don’t want to make anyone mad because I know, despite the abuse, he was someone’s child, someone's brother.  Having worked a stint at the House of Ruth in Balto, though (a haven for abused women), I also can totally understand the woman’s actions.

But back to this time of morning and all its yummy goodness!  I like to go outside and look at the stars really early in the morning. I live in town, high up on a ridge.  When we first moved here, Rob and I were chagrined to learn that we live on the old “Snob Hill”. I guess that means the nice houses, the view or is it referring to the people? By the time we bought, though, Klondike had taken over the designation as the “New Snob Hill”, thank goodness.  Heck, we paid $88,000 for two city lots and a hundred year old house…nothing snobby there!  Our house was originally the "ranch" house for this whole ridge. Many early (1800's) photos of the town appear to have been taken from our property, I can tell from the angle. The view is outstanding. I can see over the whole town, especially in winter as the trees are leafless. Of course, the mountains make an awesome backdrop! We use most of the second lot for a big veggie garden and in the dark, last summer’s cornstalks and the other debris from a healthy harvest look magical swaying in the night breeze. There’s always a few falling stars, amid the galaxy out there.  We have amazing night sky here, really not even much light pollution because there’s only about 5000 of us close to town.  Always blows me away that I live in a state with just around half a million people and it’s one of the largest states in the country. We only have 8000 people in our county of 4,182 square MILES.  We have three traffic lights in the whole county and they are all within about 4 blocks of each other, right in town. When we left MD, there were over 5 million people there and you know how small that state is!

I think that’s why people are so nice here. We’re not stumbling and bumping into each other like in congested cities.  Sometimes, I can drive all the way out old Hwy 87 toward Kaycee and maybe pass 3 cars total. Makes for happier people, I say!

Oops, off track again…whose steering my brain this morning, eh?  Right now, there’s a Great Horned Owl out there somewhere, hooting to beat the band. I have an Audubon bird clock in my kitchen, one of those that has a different bird for each hour. One’s the owl and on more than one occasion, I’ve had to check and make sure it wasn’t the clock hooting and off its game!

Before dawn, it’s just magical….but I really need to get some sleep one of these days.  Sometimes, though, I think I’m meant to be up and experience the calm beauty of this time of day. It definitely  centers me for the rest of the rat racey day!

I’m starting to really look forward to my knee surgery. That’s part of why I’m up this morning so early. Got a heartbeat behind my knee right now and it is definitely grabbing my attention!  I hate painkillers and refuse to take them unless I’m really bad. I’m saving those suckers for post-surgery.  Being allergic to codeine and a myriad of other drugs, I get the “good stuff” when I do need it. Demerol is my choice…no not the shots! My one doc in Billings says that taking Demerol in pill form is useless and does nothing but I beg to differ. I don’t want to be catatonic, I want to be able to function, even on pain meds.  All the other stuff makes me itch like a heroin addict, anyway and just feel weird.  The stuff I take gets my pain down to a manageable level without making me stupid. Pain is actually a good thing, you need a little to know what’s going on.  I guess from being on so many pills for the AIDS over the years, I’ve learned that they aren’t necessarily the best thing for you. I don’t try to bring down fevers, either. That’s your body’s own defense against disease. Most viruses and bacteria can only live in very small temp zones. If you take aspirin or whatever to bring down the fever, you are defeating your own immune system’s job.  I prefer to know what’s going on in there! 

Okay, I see I’ve taken up too much of your valuable time this morning and I really didn’t say a darn thing of note.  Go out there and have a fabulous day.  Who knows, today could be the day your life changes forever for the better.  I’d just like to say that I truly enjoy sharing time on this big blue ball with all of you and I hope someday you find the peace with yourself that I’ve found and that you don’t need a terminal illness to do it…..

"Going inward allows you see into your soul and understand yourself better. Our motivations, thoughts, and opinions can get drowned out by the omnipresent cacophony of modern life and the people around us. Periodically reconnecting with yourself helps you affirm who you are and what you want from life. You can explore your past, present, hopes, and dreams without distraction when you commune with yourself. Explore your inner landscape today, and the answers to certain questions you’ve been asking yourself just might become clear!"~Daily OM