reflections of 40....

Rachel, the birthday girl!

Well, I don’t know about you but I sure had a great Happy hour last night.  I can now tell you all about it.  Angela, the Director of our Chamber of Commerce, called me a bit ago and said we needed to arrange a surprise party for her Assistant Director, Rachel, who was turning the big 4-0.

We contacted everyone via facebook and email, trying to keep it a secret from Rachel. Now, you have to understand, it’s darn hard to keep secrets in Buffalo! And once again, we actually found out we failed!  Oh no, no one actually told Rachel we were throwing her a party…it’s just everyone kept throwing subtle hints to her that they knew where she was going last night and she, being the smarty pants she is, figured it out.  She said it was just weird so many people who usually had no interest in her plans, were asking her if she was going to the Moose for cocktails after work.  She also said that she knew her best buddy, Angela, was probably going to do something, she just didn’t know what.

Regardless of how big a surprise it was, Rachel had a great time, I know. We all did, as a matter of fact.  If you haven’t figured out from my past entries, we really like to have fun here in winter!

Quite a few people showed up to honor Rachel. We even had the publisher of the local newspaper (gosh, I hope nothing shows up in there!). We had great food that everyone brought and a great time was had by all.

Gosh, I remember 40! I told Rachel that she was entering the best decade of her life. In your 40’s, you usually have gotten yourself together, know what you are doing with your life and quite frankly, have the most confidence in yourself.  We moved to Buffalo the year I turned 40. I can remember it like it was yesterday!

I had so much more energy back then, things didn’t hurt yet like they do now, either! Rob and I were so busy that year, exploring Wyoming!  We hiked and horsebacked and camped, well, we just did everything to experience this state.  This is a place for doing things, not sitting around on your butt. Although now, I spend more time in the F-250, looking out the window at the scenery than I do actually hiking anymore.  That’s my illness, though, I don’t really think it’s my age. With the neuropathy I have in my feet and legs, it’s just hard for me to walk very far anymore. Makes me a little sad and I know it saddens Rob because he still likes to do a lot of hiking. These days, I send him out with his buddies, instead of me.

Neuropathy is such a bummer.  There are a lot of different kinds.  I started out with the numbing kind, caused by all the toxic AIDS drugs the docs have put me on over the years.  I basically have no real feeling in my feet and hands.  I have to be very careful when I cut my toenails because I can’t tell the difference between my toe and the nail, it’s really weird. I also look down when I walk. I didn’t realize this until not too long ago when one of my girlfriends asked me about it. I just don’t know where my feet are anymore. Over the past few years, the numbness has traveled up almost to my knees.  I’m supposed to carry a cane or walking stick with me wherever I go now, according to my docs, but I have a vanity thing about it and would rather fall.

But here’s the kicker with neuropathy…now I get these “hyper” feelings in those deadened areas. It’s hard to explain but I get these weird shooting pains and sometimes it feels like my hands and feet are in that waking up stage after they’ve fallen asleep…what they call pins and needles. It’s excruciatingly painful and it comes on without warning. My neurologist has finally got me on some drugs that help, though. I take Topomax, which is actually an anti-seizure medication but it’s been shown to help with the pain and I also take Cymbalta, which failed as an anti-depressant but they found helps with neuropathy and fibromyagia. They have been a miracle drug combination for me, I tell ya.  I still have no feeling and it’s continues to travel up as time passes but at least the pain has lessened.

I’m wondering what it’s going to feel like when I get this knee surgery on Wednesday. Hopefully, it won’t mess with my neuropathy much.  I’m a little unstable on my foot…yes, I said foot, because I’m using forearm crutches right now to keep the weight off the torn knee so I’m really only relying on the good leg right now.. I thought I was unstable on two legs!  I can’t wait for this darn surgery! Putting all my weight and balance on my “good” leg, which ain’t so good, has been a challenge.

Don’t even ask me if I’ve slowed down because of it, either because I haven’t. I broke my right foot years ago and it didn’t heal right and I was in a cast for almost two years. I learned to drive left footed back then and that’s what I’m doing right now, as well.  I have things to do, people. Life doesn’t stop when you have a problem, right?

We got a big dump of snow yesterday. Well, it wasn’t a dump, more of a real steady snow that started about 4 am yesterday and continued all throughout the day and night . It’s a nice snow, though, no wind accompanied it as it usually does. It’s the really dry, flaky kind that you can just blow off of things and the kind that falls off the door when you slam it. I love that kind of snow! I just took Thistle out for her morning constitution and I think we got at least 6 inches.  It’s just beautiful out there! Yesterday, Thistle was loving the snow, I could hardly get her to come in.  She’s quite the little winter dog. Our last Golden, Tumbleweed, was totally different. She didn’t even like to go outside much except to do her business.  Thistle, on the other hand, would be an outside dog if we let her, I think!

Snowy Thistle

Well, I hope you have a wonderful Saturday.  Get out and enjoy some fresh air, it will make you come alive this time of year!