As much as I love Fridays and Happy hours, I’m not real fond of Saturday morning! I used to be able to socially have a cocktail or two and be just fine. Not anymore, apparently! Last night I only had one drink…okay, it was a very large drink, but still…. Let me back up and explain that I dislike having just alcoholic drinks in front of me. I’ve always been that way. Also, I don’t like beer, at all… I’m allergic to the sulfites in red wine and rarely can I find a good white in a bar. So, for as long as I can remember, I’ve ordered my alcohol separate from my tea or coke or whatever. What I’m trying to delicately say is that I drink shots (but I don’t “shoot” them by any means). I sip them and it can take me almost an hour to finish one. I’m mostly actually drinking whatever non-alcoholic beverage I have also ordered. The male of the species that inhabits and trolls bars sometimes finds this a challenge, for some reason I cannot fathom. It seems to rub against their sensibilities that a female is drinking straight alcohol. Hmm…
Luckily, with the gray hair I now sport, I don’t get so many challenges from these trolls anymore. You know what I’m talking about… They swagger up all macho with their eye on my rocks glass full of Captain Morgan (no ice) and say something like “Hey there, sweetie, don’t tell me that big ole glass of booze is all yours?” I politely say yes and explain what I just told you about keeping stuff separate and for some reason they ALWAYS come back with “I bet I can drink a (insert expletive of your choice here) more than you, BABY (emphasis on that "baby"..always sarcastic)” I try to deflect by politely saying “Yes, I’m sure you can” Never works….they aren’t listening. I seemed to have touched off some Neanderthal hair-pulling thing deep inside their primordial brains that just has to make them stupid.
Now when I was younger, this would be followed by a “shoot off” and I used to REALLY be able to hold my liquor. It was like that scene with Karen Allen in Raider’s of the Lost Ark, when Harrison Ford found her doing that one on one shoot off in the ice cave. These silly men forget I’ve been drinking this particular booze for about 25 years and they’ve just been swilling beer until their encounter with me. That’s why I win, nothing magical there….
Oh, nothing like that happened last night, by the way, my mind just follows its own thoughts, I have no control here at 5 o’clock in the morning. Something cute did happen though. We have a friend, Roger, can’t remember his last name at the moment, doesn’t matter.. He and Rob were both in the Navy at the same time. He’s a retired Gunner and Rob’s a retired Chief. There were only 4 ships docked in Greece Buffalo but when they get together that’s all they talk about…the good ole days in the Navy in Greece
He’s such a sweet guy. He wouldn’t stop apologizing last night for being loaded, heck, he’s the one who fell flat on his face in the parking lot, not us! Anyway, so when the guys finally wake up this morning, I’m going to take them for a nice big breakfast down at Duffy’s before we go try to find Roger’s house keys and get him back to his truck. It was all I could do to keep Thistle from sleeping with him last night. She thinks he’s just grand, too. I just hope he stops with the apologies…isn’t that what friends are for?
Oh, and to finish it up…that ONE drink I had, despite having brought cheeses, crackers, walnuts, fruit and assorted other snacks, kicked my butt! Glad no one challenged this old teetotaler. I may have to give up even my one cocktail soon or maybe actually just get a normal shot next time.
Ya’ll have a great day and don’t forget to smile at your fellow humans. You never know what’s going on with them and your smile might just save their day.
Reminds me of a story told by a good friend of the family who also had some considerable health issues he was living with. He said the doctors told him he could have ONE DRINK per night. And he did. It was straight booze, on the rocks, and poured into the largest glass he could find in his cabinet.
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